Trauma is more than rejection; it is the erasure of your presence, voice, and needs. You learn to yield, avoid conflict, and suppress your own desires and identity.....show note bellow.  If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with others who might need to hear this message.   Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Exiled and Rising, host Ana Mael explores the "Wound of Non-Existence"—a deep and often unspoken trauma experienced by those who have been silenced, erased, and forced into invisibility by authoritarian systems, cultural oppression, and systemic displacement. Through personal stories and insights from years of working with trauma survivors, Ana sheds light on how this wound shapes identity, relationships, and self-worth, and how to begin the journey from exile to reclaiming space.

Have you ever been called a “cold, distant bitch”? Or an emotionless prick? In this episode, Ana Mael reveals the untold story behind these labels and explores how what the world sees as "cold" is actually profound emotional intelligence. Being labeled “cold” is not a weakness—it’s a survival mechanism. This episode is for anyone who has been misunderstood or marginalized for simply trying to survive in a world that doesn’t always see your humanity. Podcast highlights from Ana: "I honor that person. I honor you. Because I know how the ‘bitchiness’ was born. I know why." Why it's impactful: This directly speaks to how trauma survivors are often unfairly labeled. It also shows that Ana’s approach is non-judgmental and deeply compassionate. She emphasizes that emotional defense mechanisms should be respected, not condemned. "You are not cold, you are a diamond. You are heat under pressure." Why it's impactful: This quote affirms the strength and beauty that arises from enduring hardship. It reframes the common narrative that trauma breaks people, instead suggesting that it can forge something powerful, just like diamonds are created under intense pressure. "You don’t have to prove your warmth. You don’t have to. You don’t have to prove it, because someone who knows what it means to go and live through complex trauma will see you." Why it's impactful: This serves as a powerful reminder to people who feel pressured to perform emotional labor to be "warm" or "likeable" despite their trauma. It underscores that those who have experienced similar pain will understand and validate them without needing to prove themselves. "You were not cold and you are not cold. You were very calculated in your survival." Why it's impactful: This redefines the narrative about emotional distance as a survival strategy. Ana emphasizes that emotional numbness or perceived coldness is not a flaw, but a purposeful and intelligent response to the threat of harm. "When I see someone with a flat, rigid face, arrogance, almost unpleasant, angry, shielded, I see armor. I don’t see distance. I see depth." Why it's impactful: This shifts the perspective on people who are perceived as cold or difficult. It invites listeners to see beyond the external appearance and recognize the layers of trauma, resilience, and survival beneath the surface. Links: New. Micro Lesson by Ana : https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/signup Get the Book: The Trauma We Don't Talk About – Book , Ana Mael’s bestselling memoir for survivors, therapists, and seekers of truth : https://amzn.to/41SjKKL Next Book Club cohort sign ups: https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/opt-in   ❤️ Please Donate This podcast is independently produced. No studio. No production team. Just a mission. Donate here Exiled & Rising – Premium Podcast Membership Years of unlearning in one place. Join here Somatic Trauma Recovery Center Learn more about Ana’s trauma healing practice, somatic tools, and programs. Visit the center   Impactful Takeaways: The Coldness You Feel Is Protection, Not Emptiness Ana dives into how people who have experienced trauma—especially marginalized communities—develop emotional armor. This armor, often perceive...

Social anxiety is not just shyness—it's a battle within your body, a fight for survival in a world that constantly demands you to be seen. But what if I told you that the very same body that holds your fear also holds the key to your healing? Social anxiety is often misunderstood as just being shy or introverted, but it’s far deeper than that—it’s an internalized fear shaped by past traumas and rejection. Yet, healing from social anxiety starts not in the mind, but in the body, where our nervous systems hold the memories of those experiences. Ana Mael breaks down the deep, visceral connection between trauma and social anxiety. You might be in a safe space now, but your nervous system still remembers the past—and it's holding you back from experiencing the connection and belonging you deserve. Episode Description: In this raw, unfiltered episode of Exiled and Rising, Ana Mael takes a deep dive into the roots of social anxiety. It’s not just about being introverted or shy—it’s about your body holding onto memories of past pain, trauma, and shame. The episode explores how these old memories continue to inform your nervous system, causing panic, discomfort, and fear in social settings even years after the trauma occurred. Ana discusses how your survival brain prioritizes protecting you from harm, but often misfires, keeping you in a loop of social withdrawal and anxiety. But here's the truth: You don’t have to live in fear of being rejected, shamed, or judged. Your need for connection, community, and belonging is essential—and it's safe to reach for it. You Will Learn: How your body remembers past social shame, triggering anxiety in present-day interactions. The survival instinct behind social anxiety: your brain’s desperate attempt to protect you from past harm. Why being seen and heard is a basic human need—and how your anxiety is disconnecting you from that need. How the trauma of past rejection or humiliation affects your ability to connect with others, even in safe environments. The empowering message: The people who harmed you don’t get to deprive you of the love and connection you deserve. Impact on Trauma Healing and Nervous System: Ana's somatic approach emphasizes the connection between trauma healing and nervous system regulation. By acknowledging and releasing the trauma held in the body, you can begin to break free from the grip of anxiety and fear. Ana’s healing philosophy integrates trauma justice, recognizing the systemic factors that contribute to emotional harm and providing actionable tools for recovery. Quotes to Emphasize in the Episode: “Your survival brain has one important job: to protect you from harm. But when it misinterprets current experiences as threats, you stay stuck in the past.” “Social anxiety isn’t just about being shy or nervous—it’s about your body’s deep-seated fear of rejection and harm, and that fear is rooted in past trauma.” “The people who harmed you don’t get to deprive you of all the good, genuine, and kind people who would welcome a connection with you.” Listen to this episode if: You experience social anxiety and feel like your past keeps you stuck in patterns of isolation. You're ready to understand the root cause of your anxiety—what's really triggering you, and why. You're looking for a way to break free from fear and reclaim your right to connection and belonging. Resources Mentioned: The Tr...

A somatic prayer to call in love that holds, honors, and does not erase you.  In this deeply soothing prayer of Exiled & Rising, Ana Mael offers a somatic prayer for those seeking love that does not cost them their truth, their boundaries, or their body. This is not a prayer of performance. It is a prayer of presence—an invitation to receive love that meets the listener as they are, not as they’ve been taught to perform. Through her uniquely somatic cadence, Ana guides the listener back to the wisdom of the breath, the stillness of the nervous system, and the truth of the soul that remembers: Why Somatic Prayer Matters Unlike scripted affirmations or cognitive self-help tools, Ana’s somatic prayers are crafted with a trauma-informed, body-rooted approach that: Helps regulate the nervous system and reduce internalized relational anxiety Cultivates safety in the body around love, intimacy, and visibility Restores connection with the Divine, without bypassing human pain Allows listeners to receive prayer not only with their mind—but with their breath, cells, and heartbeat Her voice—slow, steady, and spirit-led—creates a sanctuary where listeners feel held, not hurried.   Join Ana’s next live Somatic Prayer Room Sing ups for the next live prayers: https://www.somatictraumarecoverycenter.com/somatic-prayers-room/ For those who want to receive this kind of prayer more often, Ana offers a private subscription space: The Somatic Prayer Room. It is a sacred refuge for those ready to move from survival to sacredness. Inside the Prayer Room, you will receive: Live prayers for grief, piece, health, love, safety, rest, and reclamation Gentle somatic cues to guide the nervous system into deeper integration A rhythm of care, reflection, and embodiment—away from the noise of algorithms A growing archive of spirit-rooted, body-led healing tools for everyday regulation and emotional truth This space is especially valuable for survivors, HSP's, immigrant hearts, exiled souls, and all those learning to feel safe inside their own softness and boundaries. ❤️ Support the Podcast – Please donate to sustain a focused, distraction-free space— no content overwhelm, just deep, distilled micro lessons and truth. http://bit.ly/3YiCDWo   The Trauma We Don't Talk About – Book Ana Mael’s bestselling memoir for survivors, therapists, and seekers of truth. https://amzn.to/41SjKKL   Exiled & Rising – Premium Podcast Membership. Deep Impact Mini-Lesson. Years of unlearning in one place. Get unfiltered episodes, deeper teachings, somatic tools, and extended micro lessons not shared anywhere else. https://exiledandrising.supercast.com/

Whether you are mourning the loss of a loved one, the loss of home, the loss of safety, or the loss of faith in your country or community—this prayer is for you.  In this sacred and unedited episode of Exiled and Rising, Ana Mael offers a somatic prayer for those carrying grief that is too heavy to hold alone.  This episode is a place to lay your sorrow down. It is not a lesson in letting go. It is not a demand to rise. It is an invitation to be witnessed in your grief, exactly as you are. What Is a Somatic Prayer? A somatic prayer is a body-rooted invocation that meets you in your emotional, physical, and spiritual pain. Unlike traditional prayers that ask you to transcend your pain, this prayer brings you into your body, into your breath, into your mourning. It is where: Divine presence meets nervous system truth Spirituality holds sorrow—not bypasses it Loss is honored—not rushed This is a space for grief that has no timeline, and healing that has no deadline. What You'll Experience A gentle invocation of Divine Spirit, ancestors, and light A guided prayer that can hold the death of someone you love Language for the grief you carry when the world no longer feels safe Permission to cry, tremble, ache, and still be whole A reminder: You are not alone in your sorrow This episode can be returned to when words fail, when the weight is too much, or when your soul needs to be reminded it is still held. Support This Work Join the Premium Membership for unfiltered discussions, extended episodes, and exclusive somatic tools: Subscribe here Support Ana’s ad-free mission: Donate here Read Ana’s book: The Trauma We Don’t Talk About   Why This Episode Matters Now The world is trembling. Wars rage. Economies collapse. Trust in systems erodes. Many of us no longer know what to believe in, where to place our hope, or how to make sense of the silence from those we once trusted. Whether your grief is from a recent loss, or the chronic ache of watching the world unravel, this episode gives language and presence to: The grief of losing someone you love The grief of losing the illusion of safety or justice The grief of watching your values be abandoned by the people or country you trusted The grief of not knowing what side to stand on anymore—and feeling lost inside the silence Ana Mael offers a grounded, spiritual anchor in a time where many are emotionally unmoored. Ana Mael doesn’t offer answers. She offers presence. She holds the sacred tension between personal loss and collective rupture—and invites you to grieve in a body that’s often told to be silent. “This isn’t a history lesson. This is your self trying to find home again.” — Ana Mael This Is a Prayer for a World in Crisis This episode is not just about personal sorrow—it’s about global soul fatigue. We are witnessing multiple layers of grief, often without clear paths to resolut...

In this unfiltered, soul-witnessing episode of Exiled and Rising, Ana Mael reads directly from page 185 of her memoir The Trauma We Don’t Talk About. This is a reading and reflection—not from the past, but from the living, ongoing truth of what genocide does to the body, the nervous system, and the identity. In a world where genocide is happening in real-time, and where survivors are still being erased in therapy rooms, courtrooms, and spiritual circles, Ana Mael offers a rare and urgent voice—as a licensed somatic trauma therapist, a war refugee, and a genocide survivor. Her words come not from theory, but from the bones of lived experience. From decades of witnessing the aftermath—in her own body, in her clients' stories, and in the nervous systems of those who were never fully seen. And that’s what makes this episode so politically vital: She is one of the only trauma professionals publicly naming genocide from both inside and outside the field. She speaks not just of healing—but of truth, justice, and dignity as non-negotiable parts of trauma recovery. She refuses to sanitize or spiritualize violence to make it more palatable for systems that benefit from silence. In a time where: Genocides are denied Survivors are dismissed Wellness spaces avoid politics And therapy often demands forgiveness without accountability… Ana does something radical. She tells the truth. She calls for justice. She names what others are too afraid—or too removed—to touch. This is not just a podcast. This is testimony. This is somatic resistance. This is advocacy through the nervous system. And it’s what makes Exiled and Rising one of the most politically and spiritually relevant trauma podcasts of our time. ❤️ Support the mission & keep the podcast alive and ad FREE: Donate Join  Premium Membership for deeper dives, distilled micro-lessons and therapy takeaways for this episode.   Core Themes and Lessons: Surviving genocide is not the whole story. Ana survived three wars, like her parents and grandparents. Fifty-eight people survived—but what wasn’t survived was the genocide of the self: name, childhood, innocence, and humanity. Resilience comes with a cost. The fear wired into bones doesn’t disappear. What looks like strength to others may feel like unlivable tension inside the body. This isn’t a history lesson—it’s a nervous system reality. When your body has prepared itself to survive genocide, it does not unlearn that readiness easily. It carries that into daily life, decades later: into work, relationships, parenting, and even moments of stillness. Identity trauma is cumulative, not just personal. If the genocide of your ethnicity, religion, and humanity is never acknowledged, your children will inherit the silence. Your grandchildren will inherit the somatic residue of shame and loss. What we don’t say becomes our sickness. This episode...

Why healing becomes a prison when it doesn’t include justice, relational repair, and acknowledgement? In this direct, unfiltered episode of Exiled and Rising, Ana invites you into the truth that most trauma spaces avoid: healing alone is not enough. Drawing from lived experience and years of working with those displaced by war, harmed by family, or erased by systems, in first part you will learn why “Doing the work” often keeps you stuck Praise like “you’re so strong” is not empowering—it’s dismissive Spiritual language can become a tool of silencing Your nervous system knows when repair hasn’t happened—no matter how much breathwork you’ve done Some healing spaces are not meant to be “inclusive,” and why that’s not a flaw—it’s a boundary rooted in dignity This is not a conversation about love-and-light healing. This is a reckoning with the deeper layers of trauma: relational, systemic, and embodied. This episode is not gentle—but it is honest. It is not about rising above—but about refusing to carry it alone anymore. You’ll feel called in, not called out. You’ll hear the truth you may have needed for years: You’re not broken. You’re not too much. You’re not behind. You’re navigating a healing world that often tells you to meditate your way out of harm while refusing to name what actually hurt you. This episode gives you language for what your nervous system already knows: Breathwork can’t fix betrayal. Affirmations can’t replace accountability. And healing without justice isn’t healing—it’s another abandonment. If you’ve ever sat in a wellness space and felt invisible… If you’ve ever been praised for your strength while still bleeding inside… If you’ve ever wondered if your pain was your fault— This episode is for you. It’s a reckoning. It’s a remembering. It’s an offering of truth, rage, and relief—on your terms. Key Topics Covered: The myth of solo healing and how it becomes a trap Why spiritual bypassing and “positivity” can retraumatize The difference between internalized and externalized abandonment The body’s demand for relational justice, not just regulation What it actually means to seek justice—without revenge Ana’s radical truth: “Healing is not your job alone. It never was.” Lessons & Takeaways: ✔️ You are not failing at healing—the model may be broken ✔️ Your desire for repair, truth, and justice is not a flaw ✔️ Healing must happen in the context of what hurt you ✔️ You have a right to say: “I need acknowledgment. I need justice.” ✔️ You don’t owe anyone your strength. You deserve to be held in your truth—not admired for your endurance   If this episode stirred something in your bones… If you’ve been made to feel that your pain is personal failure... If you’re tired of carrying everyone’s comfort while your wounds remain unnamed... Share this episode. Leave a review. Support the work. This isn’t just a podcast—it’s a space for truth, justice, and radical repair. ❤️ Support the mission & keep the podcast alive and ad FREE: Donate<...